Pa's Old Friend
by Sibylle1
Summary: The visit of an old friend of Ben leads to a startling discovery.


Ben's Old Friend

"Why is a dog like a tree?" Mr. Miller looked around the table, his round, unwrinkled face bobbing like a balloon. "I dunno," Little Joe answered and held his breath in expectation. "Because both lose their bark once they're dead." Joe busted out laughing.

Pa's old friend had countless jokes to tell. I laughed myself sore, Joe was constantly giggling, even Pa chuckled. But Adam's lips were only curled some at the edges of his mouth. Even that seemed a bit forced, I thought.

"'Waiter, I found a button in my salad!' 'That's all right, sir, it's part of the dressing.'"

That sent Joe off into another fit of laughter. I watched Adam's reaction. This time he didn't bother to fake a grin. His face and body seemed somehow stiff, tense. But I tried to thrust aside the irritating feeling and concentrate on the good mood around our table.

George Miller had been visiting Pa for three days now. When he'd arrived I was surprised how young he looked. I wondered if he did something with his hair, because it's full and hasn't even a shadow of grey although he must be about Pa's age, in his early fifties. Both sailed with Adam's grandfather on the _Wanderer_ but Mr. Miller left the ship before Pa. It's amazing to see Pa with his old comrade, I've never seen Pa so boyish! Yesterday they shared stories about their youth, how they played pranks on an old sailor who forced the boys to do a lot of unpleasant work in their first year on board. Their revenge was sweet when that sailor kept falling into the dirtiest parts of harbor after harbor by pure "accident."

"Here's one more my son told me. He's a huge teller of funny stories and jokes - has been since boyhood.

'A Texan, a Canadian, and a Chinaman bought an old ranch together. They wanted to make it work again so they agreed that the Texan would buy the cattle, the Canadian would cut trees for fences and the Chinaman would get the supplies. After a week's work the Texan showed the others a nice herd of cattle, and the Canadian was proud of how many posts he had made. The Chinaman ordered the others to wait 10 seconds outside of the barn, and when they entered they saw only a big chest. Cautiously they approached and suddenly the lid flew open and the Chinaman sprang up, shaking his hands over his head, and shouting, 'Suplies, suplies!'"

This time Adam visibly winced. That joke wasn't bad, but maybe not too polite to tell when Hop Sing could hear it. I'm not sure if he did but he might have. Joe was still laughing his head off when Adam said in a low voice, "May I be excused? I need some fresh air." With that he stood up and headed for the door before Pa could say anything.

"Adam?" Our father's voice held an edge of anger.

"Sorry, Pa", and the door snapped shut.

Adam was gone and the cheerful mood with him. We all sat around the table somehow sobered.

"He's always gloomy, Mr. Miller. My oldest brother is a spoilsport; just ignore him," Joe said in disgust.

"Joseph!" My father's voice was raised again.

"But Pa, Adam was very rude to our guest. Why do you defend him?"

"I don't defend his rudeness but neither do I yours!" Pa sent Joe a look that would have silenced him without me kicking his shin.

"Sorry, George, " Pa apologized. "What about we settle in the great room, it's more comfortable there. Would you like a brandy after dinner?"

While sitting around the fireplace and sipping a little brandy the pleasant atmosphere was soon restored. Or mostly, for I was still puzzled about Adam's behaviour. It wasn't like him to be rude without a reason.

"I'm so glad I can return your hospitality. I have such good memories of our stay with you, George. Very good memories! Do you remember how I literally ran into you? That was a surprise, finding an old friend in San Antonio while I was buying my first cattle. I thought you must be a lookalike."

"Yeah, two old sailors meeting again in Texas, it was really unbelievable! But it was so good to see you again!"

"I certainly couldn't expect that you and your wife would invite me and my two sons so soon after the birth of your daughter. I was so grateful. How old is she now? A little younger than Hoss, so she must be around... twenty-one, isn't she?"

"No, Benjamin. I'm afraid. She died when she was only two years old. It was an accident." Mr. Miller's face grew serious for the first time since he'd arrived.

"Oh, I'm sorry, George. I didn't know…"

"It's not your fault, Benjamin. Don't worry. At least we have our son living with us." His smile was back. "May I have another brandy, Benjamin?"

After Pa refilled his glass we were awkward and silent until he himself went on with his lighthearted conversation. "Do you remember how drunk we get the first night after our reunion?"

"Oh yes, but that's not one of my favourite memories." Pa glanced at me and Joe, looking a little embarrassed.

"Benjamin, come on, your sons are men now. And at least these two certainly look like they enjoy a little fun. Joseph here reminds me a lot of my Jimmy. I guess that son of yours was a little prankster as a boy, too, or maybe still is." George Miller said with a wink in Joe's direction. "Like my Jimmy. My wife kept saying I should punish him for his practical jokes but I couldn't. They always made me laugh!"

"You are right about Joe, George. Sometimes I wish I could mix Joe and Adam's characters together a little. A bit more seriousness wouldn't do Joe any harm."

"He seems all right to me. The more you worry the more sorrows you will have." he smiled and then, with a unexpected change of subject, asked, "Do you sometimes still buy bulls for breeding in Texas, Benjamin?"

"I've thought about it, but I can't leave the ranch for such a long time."

"But you have sons. Why don't you send one of them? What about Joseph here?"

"George, Joe is barely seventeen. He is too young, it's too dangerous for him!"

"How old were we when we sailed the first time, Benjamin? He could come along with me, he'd only have to manage the back trip by his own. It would be a pleasure for me to have him around for a while. And Jimmy would surely be pleased, too"

Joe's eyes grew big, you really could see right in his brain. Finally an ally in his fight to be seen as a grown up. Funnily enough, he looked so eager for Pa to agree that he seemed younger than ever, like a child waiting for permission to bolt down the stairs on Christmas morning looking for his presents. Pa wouldn't risk an argument so he uttered only a vague, "We will see." Joe was wise enough not to press him for a decision right away.

After that both old friends got lost together in their memories again. It's a strange thought that Pa was younger than I now or even younger than Little Joe when they met first but it sure was funny to have some glimpses of him as a boy and a very young man.

Two hours later Mr. Miller retired to the guestroom. I was tired, too, but I knew I'd better not leave Pa and Joe alone. I had seen how Joe was waiting, desperate to argue for his opportunity to prove himself a grown up. And I was worried about Adam. Why wasn't he back by now?

When Pa repeated in his _calm_ voice, "Joe, I will think about that!" and I was wondering how to prevent the tantrum I felt sure was brewing in Joe, the door opened suddenly and Adam entered. His mood didn't seem any better.

Joe looked at him in anger. "You are back, big brother? You weren't very polite, weren't you?"

"No, I guess not," Adam answered in a low voice.

Joe hesitated for a moment but then attacked again, "Now you're back, you surely will tell Pa what you're thinking about my plans. So I'll ask you right now. Mr. Miller invited me to travel with him, buy some bulls in Texas and bring them home. What's your opinion?"

Adam gave Joe a long look, sat very slowly down on the table before the fireplace and said, "Travel with Mr. Miller to his home in Texas? No, Joe, I surely wouldn't encourage you to go with him."

"Two against one like always," Little Joe spat. "You are the great worrier of the family, Mr. Miller is right about you. A worrier and a spoilsport. I knew it!"

"No, Joe, you didn't." Adam said it so sadly that even Joe looked puzzled. "It's your decision but I for my part was happy when I could leave the Millers' place."

"Why?" I asked my brother, now more than curious.

"Do you remember anything of our trip?"

I shook my head. I wasn't even three years old then, how could I?

Adam looked Pa in the eyes. "I never told you, Pa. I know I should have, I'm sorry." Then he stared at the flames in the fireplace. Eventually he said, "I enjoyed that trip very much at first, I really was excited after being alone with you and Hoss in the wilderness for so long. When we accidentally met Mr. Miller and he invited us to stay with him, I thought it was the best time I'd ever had since mama's death. I met a boy around my age to play with, we slept in cozy beds, and Mrs. Miller was a very fine cook. Sometimes Hoss helped her in the kitchen, mostly by eating."

The smile that had appeared on Adam's face faded away when he continued. "Mr. Miller owned a sailor's trunk like yours and Jimmy and I played a lot with its contents. The telescope was our favorite. One day Jimmy suggested we could take it and go play outside by the water. I looked for Hoss but Jimmy told me he was with his mother. So we went down to the small pond and enjoyed a carefree afternoon playing pirates." Adam grew silent.

"What happened, Adam?" Pa asked quietly after a while.

Adam sighed before he continued, "When we came back, Mrs. Miller asked me if Hoss were tired or hungry after such a long time outside. When I realized Hoss hadn't been with her I was scared to my bones. I asked Jimmy why he had lied but he said he had really thought Hoss was with his mother, and anyway, didn't we have a much funnier afternoon without my little brother clinging to me. I still wish I had punched him in his smirking insolent face right then, but I was too frightened about Hoss." Adam hesitated again, his eyes nervously flickering.

"Finally I did find you, Hoss."

"Where was I, Adam?"

"After searching in all the places I could think of, I went to the attic, where the trunk stood and there you were, Hoss, scared, tearstained and and wet, with the heavy lid closed over you. I never felt so guilty. I had abandoned you for my own fun."

"Adam, it wasn't your fault. You was just a boy then. I probably climbed in that trunk …"

"When I lifted you out you kept whimpering, 'Adam late, Hoss dark, Adam late.' At first I didn't understand but after a bit, you sobbed, 'Hide 'n' seek,' and then, 'Jimmy hided Hoss.'"

"Oh Lord, no!" The desperate cry startled us away from Adam's story. There stood Mr. Miller in his robe, a water pitcher in hand. I've never seen a man's face go as white as his. He looked at Pa with glassy eyes, shaking his head. "No, no, no!"

My father stood and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, "It's long ago, George, it was only a childish carelessness."

Mr. Miller, his round face entirely deflated, said in a mostly inaudible voice, "We searched for our Nora for thirty-six hours before we found her on Sunday dead in that very trunk, Benjamin. Jimmy had gone on an overnight visit to a friend that weekend."


End file.
